Top 5 Things Not To Say During A Job Interview

We here at the Dyer Boys blog are all too aware that times are tough out there. With unemployment on the rise, many people are looking for work and we want to help you land that job you've been dreaming about. But since we have no idea how to go about doing that, here are the top 5 things that you should never, ever say during a job interview. Good luck!



Philip's list:

1. I won't have to work with any blacks other than you, right?

2. Tell you about my special skills and talents? If you have 12 ping-pong balls and a tube of K-Y jelly, it would be easier just to show you.

3. Could you explain to me how your company’s internet porn filter works?

4. Now I know why I recognize you! I used to do home invasion robberies with my old tweaker friends - 217 Inglewood Drive, right?

5. Where do I see myself in 5 years? Well, certainly not serving a life sentence in federal prison for murdering my grandparents and collecting their social security checks since March of 2003, if that's what you're getting at.


Douglas's list:

1. Here's a bag of urine, just in case you guys test for that stuff.

2. Truthfully, I'm not really great at conflict resolution. But my friends Smith and Wesson here are awesome at that kind of thing.

3. Two quick questions. Do your benefits include methadone clinics? And can you sign this court paper for me?

4. I guess I have two major weakness. First would be I'm too much of a perfectionist. And second would be my unquenchable thirst for grain alcohol.

5. Why did I leave my last job? Oh it burned. It burned so, so pretty, and it took all the non-believers to hell with it.