Philip's list:
1. I see here that you graduated summa cum laude from Princeton and then went on to Yale Law School, followed by helping low-income families find housing and securing insurance and hospice care for AIDS patients, all of which leads to one inescapable question: Why do you hate America?
2. One of the requirements for entering the Supreme Court is that you must run around the Capitol Building in under two minutes. I know you just broke your ankle, but rules are rules.
3. If you are confirmed as the next Supreme Court justice, how can we be sure that white men in America will ever be given a fair shake again?
4. As the last Supreme Court nominee, John Roberts had a very easy name to pronounce. Would you be willing to go with something simpler, like "Judy Johnson" or maybe a "Pam Smith" sort of arrangement?
5. Before we get started, could you grab me a cup of coffee, Honey? Two creams, no sugar.
Douglas's list:
1. The committee chair regrets to inform Miss Sotomayor that I do not hablo any of your esspanya. Is that going to be a problem during questioning?
2. I understand that you have no plans to get pregnant in the immediate future but you are a fertile people and it is therefore perfectly justifiable to ask whether or not you intend to request significant amounts of maternity leave.
3. Were you to become a member of the Supreme Court, would you use that as an opportunity to defect from whatever country you're from?
4. I'm sorry, could you please repeat that answer? It sounded as though you said you have never worked as a motel maid.
5. While not completely versed in your particular culture, I have seen many episodes of both Miami Vice and CSI Miami. Now... your people tend to do a lot of drugs, is that a fair statement?
We'd love to hear what you think about these hearings as well. If there's anything that you think the Republicans could do or say to stop Sotomayor's nomination, don't just sit there - tell us in the Comments section below! Well, I guess you could just sit there while letting us know. In fact, it might be easier. Are you still here?
7 comments:
Phil, Keep talking that way and you may be forced to leave the bankrupt Left coast.
Doug, "a fertile people?" I thought I was LMAO, but my always helpful wife reports it's just as big as ever.
You two boys! Too funny. But I have a question for Mz. Sotomayor.
Will she be introducing the Mexican cultural tradition of having all the justices stand in a circle on the White House lawn with a beer in their hand with mariachi music playing in the background?
Just askin'.
I have no comment as I don't do politics unless cash is coming in the mail to me.
Who the hell is she anyways?
Gaines - I'm about to be kicked out of California anyway because of my insistence on paying for everything with IOUs. The Home Depot's rule about this offers zero flexibility.
Quirky - As long as they don't get in the way of all the negroes and negresses sucking down their 40s while listening to LMFAO and talking back to movie screens, then there should be plenty of room for both of those stereotypes to comingle safely.
Christina - She's only about to be the first Latina ever appointed to the Supreme Court is all! Yeah, I guess I don't really care that much either. Never mind.
You laugh, but the mariachis could become a problem!
"No, no, Mrs. Sotomayor, ROWE VS. WADE was NOT a discussion of how best to enter America illegally."
Kirsten. Mariachis are never a problem. Never.
Chris - Oh my God that is funny. I'm stealing a lot from you lately.
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