Today's topic is Al Franken. Most of you are aware that the long-time humorist has finally won his bid for U.S. Senate to represent the great and frigid state of Minnesota. This picture shows a jubilant (did he say "jewbilant?") Franken with his wife Franni, waving to an adoring throng outside their home in Minneapolis (motto - "Our Nipples Bleed Red, White, and Blue"). Please, enjoy our phony captions below.
Douglas's List
1) "Unless you want to swear in with your left hand you'd better get your right hand off my bra hook, mister!"
2) "When me and Chevy used to do coke together, he'd always laugh when I told him I'd be a Senator one day. Who's laughing now, Fletch?"
3) "Now will you people finally stop calling me Stuart Smalley??!!"
4) "I am looking forward to putting my name right up there with all the other great Jews who have helped shape our nation. Like...um...well...Franni, help me out here."
5) The history books will record this as the exact moment when Urkel became inspired to run for President in 2024.
Philip's List
1) Though he wants people to take his press conferences seriously, Al Franken still couldn’t resist sliding an ice cube into his wife’s Control Tops.
2) Al Franken finally defeated Norm Coleman for the Minnesota senate seat, despite his wife’s tendency to chant his opponent’s name during campaign stops.
3) Al Franken and his wife have completely different reactions as Ann Coulter honors her promise to strip naked if he won the election.
4) “Don’t forget to wave to the governor over there, and also the campaign supporters down in front and—oh my God! Is that Wolf Blitzer?! I love you, Wolf!!!”
5) “The new junior senator from the great state of Minnesota is so getting laid tonight.”
Now, it's up to you whether you want to try your own caption in our Comments Section but I will say we are giving away a prize for the best one. It's more of a bragging rights thing since it carries no monetary value but don't let that stop you.
7 comments:
Now that Al has achieved his life long dream of becoming a U.S. Senator, Franni hopes to meet her dream of becoming a real girl.
1) With Ben long in his sights, Al Franken takes the first step towards the 2012 "Franken/Stein" Presidential ticket.
2) With the election results finally sealed, Al Franken decides to unveil to the world to his siamese twin, Ella.
3) Al Franken's debuts his lesser known talent, ventriloquism.
4) Franni Franken shows the world what she'll be doing to a Senator later that evening.
5) Al Franken's acceptance speech was made all the more outrageous when he mugged for pictures with Harry Potter.
"Upset stomach, diarrhea!"
It was a squeeker but that campaign theme song seemed to work:
"I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard"
After Frankin pinched Frannie's fannie she certainly wasn't going to call him Al,
You've just been finally declared the winner Mr. Frankin, what are you gonna do now?
I'm gonna go to Disneyland, D.C.
"I won because I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And, doggone it, people like me."
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