Why did they wait so long to release the Ghostbusters video game? At this point, Ray Parker, Jr. will undoubtedly be too busy with other projects to record the music for it. Good luck getting the purists on board, Columbia Pictures!
Why did the Iranians even bother having an election if they’re not even going to try and make it look like peoples’ votes were actually counted? Come on down to Louisiana and we’ll show you how it’s done. Here’s an idea: Schedule your next election during the week of Mardi Gras so that people will be too drunk to pay attention to the results. You're welcome, Iran!
Why is Amy Winehouse still alive? Her body must be at least 75% liver by now, which is not within the AMA’s recommended parameters.
Why can’t politicians keep their penises in their pantaloons? Republican senator, John Ensign of Nevada just admitted to having an affair with a friend’s wife. This is the same guy who called for Clinton to resign and said that Senator Larry Craig was “disgusting” for soliciting sex in an airport men’s room. Okay, maybe he was right about that (Germs!), but the question remains - Is it time to start having all of our representatives spayed and neutered?
Why do celebrities never have to face justice for anything? Cleveland Browns receiver Donte Stallworth ran over and killed a man while driving drunk and he was sentenced to 30 days in jail and a $2500 fine. It just so happens that there are three people that I would like to kill and I have $7500 in savings and a bottle of Jaegermeister in my glove compartment. Now if I can just sign a quick contract with the Oakland Raiders and set my Tivo to record three months worth of "Jon & Kate Plus Eight," I’ll be ready to go.
Why are Heidi Pratt and that drooling troll doll she’s married to ever allowed to speak in public? And how could they possibly have written a book if neither of them can recognize more than 17 letters of the English alphabet? Considering the proximity of Malibu to the Pacific Ocean, I have another question – Is global warming really such a bad thing?Okay, I'm glad I got that off of my chest. Now if I could just say the same thing about my vestigial third nipple. I know you have questions of your own and maybe even some answers, so let us hear about them in the Comments section. Holla!
14 comments:
OK,here's a question that bothers the shit out of me. Why do banks charge you insufficient funds charges,when they know you don't have enough money in your account to begin with?
Why are Will Ferrell and Dane Cook still allowed to make movies when they've proven to be painfully unfunny? "My Best Friend's Girl" should be classified as cruel and unusual punishment, as should "Anchorman" and "Step Brothers".
Okay Philip... you just posted the most recent seven wonders of the world. The answers apparently allude everyone!
I have a question though...I recently saw a beautiful white unicorn...but she was missing the horn!!! WHY???? Where's PETA when they might possibly for once be of any use whatsoever!!!!
Why am I in the foulest of foul moods?
How did I let Chris talk me into watching Anchorman and My Best Friends Girl?
Why isn't Michael Jackson invisible yet?
TFY: I'll tell you the answer for $36.
Chris: Because they're willing to fellate Harvey Weinstein - duh!
WT: I'd like some of whatever you're on ;-)
QL: I'll avoid the standard PMS reply and guess that it has something to do with the Zombie Apocalypse?
Theresa: 1) Because you dig bald dudes. 2) Because plastic is so hard to make translucent at that thickness. We're working on it.
I asked my crystal ball all the questions, and it suggested I take medication, so perhaps we all need it. LOL!
I think the question is less 'why' and more 'how?'
I'm an Indian.
There actually was a Ghostbusters video game for... get this... the Commodore 64... in the 80s. It was a lot of fun. You got to choose your vehicle, including an old hearse. You got to roast Mr. Staypuft.
Good times... good times... :)
Why does Brad Pitt keep on getting restraining orders against me when all I want to do is be his friend?
As a regular watcher of "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here", I couldn't agree with you more. I was sooooo glad when every time they quit they show. Little did I know they would be thrown in my face by appearing on every news cast and talk show since their final departure..
Make 'em go away!!!
Why not?
Chica: I hope you brought enough for everybody!
Moog: How do you always manage to lower the level of discourse? We're clearly not trying hard enough.
Jenn: Are you sure you wanted to write that on the Internet?
Kirsten: I would ask, but it's hard to yell from 300 yards away.
Me-Me: I'm doing my best to make them go away by discussing them at length on our blog.
Mike: Because I said so, dammit!
Can we spay and neuter them all? Please?
Why won't expensive pasta joints leave the damn grated cheese on the table?
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