So thanks to Theresa for the award and for setting the theme of today's blog - Top 7 Things That We Love. See, the recipient of this award is supposed to award seven blogs they hold in some esteem as well as list seven things that they love. Then once we reach a certain number, Bill Gates is supposed to give $5,000 to a Nigerian prince or some damn thing. So at the end of this post you will find a list of seven blogs that we read a lot. If yours is not on the list, it is not because we don't like your blog - it's because we don't like you. Quirky!
On with the awards. Real quick-like, we did decide on a whole new award which we proudly unveil right here for the first time on network television:
I know, it is awesome isn't it? Philip's the one on the right. Your right. And without further ado, the first recipient of the much-self-hyped Dyer Boys Caption Award is Moog for the following gem:
"As two makeup artists apply the finishing touches to Britney's face, a third artist stationed below makes sure that her wax camel toe looks just right."
Moog, congratulations on what will surely be the first of two or three awards you will receive in the coming years. Gooner, yours was close but you know at this level it's all politics.
The second award goes to...damn I don't even want to say this. You see, this person has recently taken a jab at yours trulies here on another blog and was handsomely rewarded for it. We do not take this lightly and revenge will be ours. But in the meantime, fair is fair and we begrudgingly give this award to Quirky. Take it quickly and NO EYE CONTACT!
"Father Patrick looks on woefully as his chance to come on to the Dalai Lama quietly slips through his fingers."
Mmm...bile. And now on to the top seven things that we LOVE!
1. Long walks on the beach, hand-in-hand with whoever I just stole from the Alzheimer's Unit. Sorry, that's not right. I meant "whomever."
2. Secretions. I'm not particular, any secretions will do.
3. Practicing the Heimlich Maneuver. Sure, they get really mad since they're not choking but how else can I prepare?
4. Going to one of those Sips 'N Strokes art places and insisting that I'm the nude model for the night.
5. Telling my doctor not to bother with the glove and lubricating jelly but to please call me Tina until he's finished the procedure.
6. Getting lots of free stuff by passing myself off as Halle Berry.
7. The crisp autumn air, the sounds of football on the TV, and the smell of the neighbor's dog on my barbecue. Whoops, better get that collar off him.
1. Whenever a person says something that I don't like, replying with a single fart.
2. That satisfying “thud” sound when two baseball players are running for the same pop fly and don’t hear each other calling for it.
3. Going up to random people at work and saying, “Dude, I just saw the e-mail. I’m so sorry.”
4. Telling little children that “ESPN” really stands for the “Earth Shall Perish Network” and that if their daddy watches it a lot, then he’s probably an alien sent to destroy our planet.
6. Waking up my daughters in the morning by screaming, “Oh my God, we’re all going to die!” The look on their faces is just precious.
7. Secretly replacing my Uncle Wilfred’s heart medication with new Folgers Crystals.
And now we are supposed to prop other bloggers that we enjoy reading. I'm not sure if I used the word "prop" right. Philip can you check on that and get right back to me?
Moog - There is something very wrong with this guy. Read him but DO NOT let your sister near him.
Vic - Funny Teacher Lady. Just the thought of her guiding the future leaders of our nation makes my tummy go all flippy floppy.
LiLu - If she didn't specifically include her picture on her blog with long hair, lipstick, and some pink girl drink, you'd swear she was a dude. That and all the posts she does about menstruation.
Spaz - We didn't really want to add him here but we are required to include a Canadian. Stupid NAFTA.
Sue - Just plain funny. She should have more followers. Go read her. Not so fast, finish reading ours first.
Dizz - Maybe if the rest of you ladies had made a blog appearance topped only in a big white bra, you might have also made an appearance on this list too. Well, biggish.
Sassy - She is still the only person we know of ever to write, "I swear to teacups!" If that's not a hook, I don't know what is.
Bearing in mind that "meme" is a four-letter word, you fellow bloggers are under no obligation to take this any further. We just thought we'd be nice for once. Feels a little weird. Like swallowing live goldfish but not so tickly.
Anything you LOVE? Prove it in the Comments section.