Top 5 Lies About Where Mark Sanford Was Last Week

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford disappeared for several days recently without telling anyone where he was. We now know he was in Argentina with his girlfriend, Maria Belen Shapur, and not just out “walking the Appalachian Trail,” unless that's a new euphemism that we haven't heard of yet. Here are some of the other excuses he considered using before admitting to the affair:



Philip's list:

1. I was with Chris Ensign the whole time at some sort of religious conference thing. Go ahead, Chris Ensign. Tell them that's where we were.

2. I was just taking my career out for one last trip before it died.

3. One thing for sure is that I wasn't anywhere in South America and, even if I were, I definitely wasn't banging some chick there. Especially not in Buenos Aires. Seriously, guys, you shouldn't even bother looking into anything like that.

4. I was with Ed McMahon all week. Go ask him yourself.

5. Every seven years, I must return to my home planet Vulcan to perform the ritual of Pon Farr. That's totally where I was.


Douglas's list:

1. Well, I went to Las Vegas and they have this funny rule there.

2. I was like, totally spending the night at a friend's house and like, my cell phone quit working, and like, my friend's Mom totally knew where I was so it was cool.

3. My GPS has really been on the fritz lately. I just looked up and a sign said "Welcome to Argentina".

4. I've been here the whole time! South Carolina, you just got PUNKED!!!

5. South Carolina can take care of itself for a few days. Worse comes to worse, there are 49 other perfectly good states.


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