Not so fast! We've got some awards to hand out first. We had 2 (two!) caption contests last week and we had some really crappy entries which we have labored for minutes to whittle down to the least crappy. I can feel your pride swelling now. That better be your pride, mister!
The first winner of the "twinsy", as it is was recently referred to by Ryan Seacrest, is Nonamedufus with this caption: "Okay, we found the car. Has anyone seen 38 clowns?"
For our second contest we should give one honorable mention to Don who was too transfixed with Chica's butt to actually provide an entry. For all the right reasons. But the award goes to Nipsy with her entry, "They said with a little practice and a lot of lube, it wouldn't hurt..they lied." We were both moved by the biographical nature of her entry. Very touching.
Now back to our top five - things that make you wish killing your co-workers was only a misdemeaner, or something along those lines.
Philip's list:
1. Yo, Toots, what say we blow off the sensitivity training and go spend a little quality time in the supply closet?
2. As the boss walks by, “If you just recompile those subroutines, that should resynergize the, um… Is he gone? Cool. Seriously does anyone here actually know how to work these computer thingies?”
3. What say you and me go grab some burritos for lunch and then come back and cropdust the entire marketing department?
4. There you are! Do you know that you still haven’t ordered any wrapping paper from my niece’s Girl Scouts fundraiser? Don't worry, I have the brochure on me right now!
5. Coming through! Got a giant deuce prairie dogging here so make a path!
Douglas's list:
1. Another day at the old salt lick. I mean..mine...I...lick mine...I'll just go up to HR now.
2. Working bare or barely working?
3. What's happening, manchiefdawgdudeperson?
4. Another blessed day nestled in the arms of the baby Jesus! Can I get a hallelujah!
5. It's time to rape the doughnuts!
Congratulations again to both deserving winners of last week's captions contests. Any of you have annoying co-workers you'd like to unburden yourselves with on our little blog? That's why God gave us the Comments section.
14 comments:
Congrats to the winner.
I work with a bunch of perverts, so I am right a home there. I hear and say "That's what he/she said at least 30 times a day.
Congrats to Noname and Nipsy! Nicely done.
I feel for ya guys with your annoying coworkers.
I'm have some annoying "coworkers" here too.
"Mom, am I bothering you?"
A. I could say yes and then start saving money for the years of therapy down the line.
B. I could lie and say No, but then I have to fake my way through whatever he has to say or show me for the upteenth time.
Sigh.
B.
heh heh heh
"Wanna hold my penis?"
I hate review time.
Hey guys, thanks for the neat award. It's much appreciated. Sorry you had to come to my blog to tell me I had won it! You guys have an excellent blog.
Oh yeah, when I was working me and a couple of my colleagues would often go out for lunch. It wasn't burritos. We'd often debate whether or not we should order baked beans as a side dish and then go back to the office and clear the air.
Rape the doughnuts? I don't think so. In my experience, most doughnuts are pretty damn easy, and put up next to no resistance. Well, except the bear claws.
Dizz - Thanks for the input. That's what she said.
Quirky - This post was instigated by the mail room guy that I had just passed in the hall who said, "How 'bout it?" His other salutation is, "There he is!" I don't know how to respond to either. Ever.
Moog - We thought you'd never ask. Oh...not what you meant? ♫Awkward! ♫
Noname - You earned it, we just handed it out. Oh, and there is the little matter of the overdue bribe money.
Chris - My doughnuts like it rough. Nuff said.
Doug...by the way...
Pimpin' my first-ever "Mental Poo" contest today.
You guys are tailor-made for it.
But I only have one suit, so I expect a decent fight with no eye gouging.
Moog - Expect what you will, we Dyers have no rules when it comes to swag. I will own the Moog Mug.
Eyes schmyes. I go straight for the junk. Wait, that didn't sound as badass as I thought it would.
Rape the donuts lol! Lol@cropdust too haha!
Oh and congrats to the captions, I so wish I could write funny captions.
Hell, I work with guys who get so offended by my nipples that I hear about them everday!
And thanks for the award, I so knew I had that one in the bag. No one does butt love quite like me..wait..no..nvm..forget that one guys..
Mr. Condescending: I can't tell if you really mean this. I think it has something to do with your name.
Nipsy: I'm going to need directions to your workplace. And congrats!
I was serious, I have a major problem writing funny captions. I get so fkn jealous over some peoples ability. Chica has incredible ones!
Wait, I still don't know if you're serious.
Let's see if he falls for it again. ;-)
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