Today would normally be a caption contest but today is not a normal day, is it? Instead we have decided to do a quote contest. Many celebrities have weighed in with their statements and well-wishes. We don't have time to read them all so we made some up. Today's prize will go to the person who makes up the best celebrity quote about the passing of Michael Jackson. God speed, Michael. God speed.
Philip's list:
1. Al Sharpton, Jr. – This great tragedy once again allows the country to come together and watch me try to explain how this is really all about me.
2. Liza Minnelli – I just can’t stop crying because this is the greatest tragedy to befall our nation in so, so long. The untimely passing of, um… wait, who’s this for again? Mother?
3. Paris Hilton – That’s like, way uncool. He used to be all hot and stuff. He’s like, probably not any more.
4. President of NAMBLA – We are absolutely devastated by the passing of our leading donator and the head of our Santa Barbara chapter.
5. The Ghost of Farrah Fawcett – Seriously? You couldn’t have waited just one week? TMZ was just about to start shooting a one-hour special about me!
Douglas's list:
1. George Foreman - I will always remember where I was when I found out about Michael’s death. Cooking delicious, juicy burgers on my George Foreman grill. $49.99 at all Wal Mart and Target locations just in time for July 4th!
2. Lisa Marie Presley - I can't really comment because I'm contractually obligated to lie about our marriage for seven years after his death.
3. President Obama - As a man who is also of mixed heritage, I can certainly symp...what's that? He's 100% black? Bitch please, I ain't blind!
4. McCaulay Culkin - Thank God I can finally sleep through the night.
5. Britney Spears - Y'all? He was, like, totally the best ever y'all?! Hold Momma's gum Preston. Preston!!! Gum!!! OK now, can y'all see my cooter from that angle?
Surely there are some celebrity quotes we missed. Lay the best one on us in the Comments section and you just might get yourself one of these twins cartoon pictures. No, seriously. Oh and it's not too late to get in on our other contest here.
19 comments:
Jon & Kate: Well our 15 minutes are up. Are we eligible for unemployment?
Elephant Man: Hey Elvis, when you're done with hime, I've got a few bones to pick with him...
Elton John: Of course, I'll be singing at his funeral. Now, what's a word for 'pedophile' that rhymes with 'candle'?
Jenna Jameson: "mmmfffmmmmffff"
Bill Cosby: My fondest memory was when Michael shared his pudding pop with me. Unfortunately, it reeked of 12 year old boy.
Ozzy Osbourne: (unintelligble diatribe)
Stevie Wonder: Michael Jackson was one of the most talented white vocalists I've ever...What? He was black?! This blind shit sucks ass.
Barack Obama: I am announcing today...that Neverland Ranch...will be now run by the Federal Government and...according to Michael's last wishes for a socialist Health Plan...that all children will receive...free rectal exams and therapy.
Queen Elizabeth "Perhaps Dirty Diana will stop haunting me now."
AND boys....I gave you some bloggy love and my blog. Goz and checks it outs? K?
Gaines: Don't leave your day job. Seriously, there's a critical shortage of medical professionals in Wisconsin!
kathom: I think you do something with the word "manhandle."
Moog: I'm sorry for messing up your Jenna Jameson quote. We're done now.
Quirky: Thanks, puddin'! Where should we go to collect our doggy love? What do you mean I misread that?
These are all great!!! Remember the rumor years ago about Michael and Janet being the same person? It will be interesting to see if she surfaces.....or not.
Parents of Miscellaneous Boys: We're still going to be getting the monthly checks, right?
Paul McCartney: What do you mean he willed the entire Beatles songbook to Emmanuel Lewis? BASTARD! Those dog-gone songs are MINE!
I'm not sure anyone can top yours.
What NAMBLA members world-wide said on hearing of MJ's death:
Wheeee, more for us!
LMAO @ Venom!
Joan Rivers: I've been trying to get an appointment with his plastic surgeon, there's probably an opening now.
All the quotes are funny. Great post!
Upon entering the Pearly Gates, Farrah Fawcett was heard to whisper to Ed Mcmahon "That Jackson boy just couldn't let me have my fifteen minutes of fame.."
This is a great contest idear. Do it more often!
wow! When farrah got to the pearlie gates she had one request from God. She ask that all the children of the world be safe. You see the result.
The Man In The Mirror: Oh thank God.
You are all fucking sickos. Michael was an amazing human being.
You are all fucking sickos, Michael was an amazing human being, a million times better than any of you morons.
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