Top 5 Signs That Paula Abdul Was Addicted To Painkillers

In an interview this week, American Idol judge, Paula Abdul, revealed a longstanding addiction to prescription painkillers, which may have contributed to her frequently erratic behavior. Here are some of the signs that something has not been quite right with Ms Abdul. If you'd like to add some items of your own, put down that fistful of oxycontin and click the Comments link.




Philip's List:

1. Once gave an hour-long interview to a potted plant.

2. In an unaired American Idol episode, gave every contestant the feedback, "Have you seen Mommy's pills? Give Mommy her goddamn pills!"

3. Showed up for an audition completely unaware that she had a steering wheel jutting out of her forehead.

4. Once showed up at a photo shoot with her face covered in blood and pigeon feathers.

5. During a guest appearance, Amy Winehouse pleaded with her to get some help.


Douglas's List:

1. Convinced she was on fire, threw herself headfirst into audience screaming, "Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll!"

2. Created awkward moment on set when she didn't realize she'd stuck pencil through both cheeks.

3. Maced guy at liquor store for not asking for her ID.

4. Responded to a Simon Cowell question by saying, "Please make your giraffe stop licking my toes."

5. During moving ballad she began dancing spasmodically and shouting, "Shake that ASS Lionel! Shake that ASS!"


Since we also enjoy slapping lidocaine patches over every square inch of our exposed flesh, some of our list items might be considered somewhat... less than stellar. Here is the "Doggie Bag" of items that we wrote while even higher than normal. Enjoy!




1. After her last stint in rehab, 20% of nation's drug dealers filed for unemployment.

2. Once spent an entire episode speaking entirely in iambic pentameter.

3. Tried to explain that her puss-covered road rash was just a small pox booster.

4. During one episode she interrupted Ryan shrieking, "NOSE HAIR BAD! BACK HAIR GOOD! NOSE HAIR BAD! BACK HAIR GOOD!"