Top 5 Other Quotes By Miss California

Miss California, Carrie Prejean, held a rambling press conference yesterday about how she was punished for exercising her freedom of speech and that the topless photos of her were entirely the photographer's fault. Here are some of the more interesting things that she said during the press conference:



Philip's list:

1. My grandfather worked on an assembly line seven days a week, twelve hours a day, slaving every day just for... um, so that you and I could... wait, what were we talking about again?

2. To show just how committed to "opposite marriage" I am, today I'd like to announce my engagement to an intelligent, non-judgmental... um, what's the opposite of "bitch?"

3. I might spend a little time in purgatory for getting these breast implants, but at least I'm not going to burn in hell for all eternity for being born gay.

4. Why would God make me this pretty if he didn't want me to share the gospel during beauty pageants? Answer me that, mister gay people.

5. The wind just blew open my vest during that photo shoot. It also blew these implants into my breasts and blew a whole lot of margaritas into my mouth the night that Michael Phelps and I did it in the La Jolla Chevy's mens room.


Douglas's list:

1. In America people should not be punished for exercising their freedom of speech. Or for exercising down at Lady Fitness Gym and Dayspa where you can sign up for half price if you mention my name!

2. In my defense, all I did was remove my shirt and pose myself erotically. I didn't actually press the little button thingy on the camera.

3. I'm glad to be able to come here and set the record...SWEET JESUS THERE'S A MONKEY ON MR. TRUMP'S HEAD!!!

4. No, I don't recall the exact verse in the Bible about gays being married. Something about smiting. Yes, I'm pretty sure there was some smiting.

5. I should remain Miss California because it is the will of the people of this great state to keep voting for superficial airheads with artificially enhanced bodies. Right Governor Arnold?

We both used the "method" writing technique for our lists today which means that we had to lower our IQs in order to get into character. That may have resulted in the following list of items that ended up in our Doggie Bag today.

If you feel as sorry for Miss Prejean's plight as both of us do, please leave your messages of encouragement in the Comments section below.



1. Also in keeping with my religion, since I have desecrated my body by getting breast implants, I will now walk to the edge of town to be stoned to death by my neighbors.

2. I just want everyone to know that even though I was born with classical good looks, and that I get to keep my title as Miss California despite the release of my topless photos, and that I've made tons of money in prize winnings and endorsements, I am the real victim here!

3. My religion is very important to me which is why I've brought a live rattlesnake for each of you to hold.

4. So opposites totally shouldn't get married because, you know, opposites attract, and like, magnets and stuff. Is it time to let Donald touch my boobies yet??