Wanda Sykes recently made waves at the White House Correspondents' Dinner with jokes about Sarah Palin's birth control methods and Rush Limbaugh's oxycontin addiction. In an attempt to write our most offensive blog post to date, here are some of the jokes that even Wanda decided were too tasteless to tell:
1. I wish you would change your policy on gay marriage. I know you're not opposed to lesbians because I've seen the CIA's list of the movies you like to watch on Cinemax.
2. I'm not saying that Keith Olbermann is a blatant Obama supporter, but during the President's last proctology exam, they found Keith's lips.
3. Some people have said that Obama is actually too white to be called the first black president. Excuse me? You want to call a brother who plays basketball and has his own cash crop in the back yard "too white?"
4. Washington isn't used to having a black man in charge yet. Just tonight, Senator Boehner has already asked Obama twice to top off his scotch and soda.
5. I don't want to support any racial stereotypes, but I heard Monica Lewinsky saying that she can't believe she wasted her affair on "Little Bill."
1. We all know that President Obama is part white. Last night I found out which part it was.
2. With a black President, mostly all the Secret Service does any more is count the silverware.
3. The Obamas finally settled on a dog. Word is, he already won his first dogfight out on the South Lawn.
4. Obama's food taster is getting real tired of fried chicken, watermelon, and Mad Dog 20-20.
5. The Obamas wanted me to apologize for them being late tonight. They were both too stoned to remember how to jump their car.
Even though we felt like twin Archie Bunkers while writing up these lists we decided to push things farther and include this doggie bag of even more god-awful list items. We apologize in advance and know exactly how terrible we're being. But we're just stupid enough to go ahead and post this stuff anyway.
Are you as stupid as we are? If you have some jokes that you wish Wanda Sykes would have told at the Correspondents' Dinner, click the Comments link below and share it with the world. Or, you know, with the 2 or 3 people who will be reading our blog after this.
1. Everyone is happy that we finally have our first black president, but could you stop ending every cabinet meeting by saying, "Can I get a what what!?"
2. I thought you were black, Mr. President, until I saw you doing that 1980s white boy dance on the Ellen show. What, were you in Wham?
3. Don Imus has been called an asshole so many times, they must have found his ass cancer by doing a full body scan.
4. Which one of you heartless bastards bribed the usher to get Tim Russert's seat this year?