Douglas's list:
1. ♫"I'd like to teach the world to sing, but I can't touch my lips together."♫
2. "I just traded our village to that nice man for a whole case of this bubbly brown water!"
3. "Dammit, spilled again! Am I gonna get a straw or is someone getting a poison dart in their neck?"
4. Mboto was the first indigenous tribesman ever diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.
5. "I hate when people put the Coke on my face when there's a coaster right there!"
Philip's list:
1. “Coke – it brings good things to life. Except for this rival village chief that I’m eating.”
2. National Geographic becomes the latest in a long line of magazines to resort to product placement.
3. After blowing all of their money on soft drinks, new earrings and collagen injections, the tribe was starting to regret letting their chief subscribe to MILF Magazine.
4. Sure, they may have chopped down the entire rainforest, poisoned their water supply and rendered their entire tribe sterile, but at least the nice men in suits gave them 6 whole cans of magic voodoo juice.
5. Nothing washes down a plate full of aphids and grub worms like the smooth, refreshing taste of Coca-Cola.
Speaking of scrumptious comestibles, we have a few leftovers we like to call "The Doggie Bag". These are the captions that we tossed around but just couldn't quite bring ourselves to print. Until now.
1. "Sure I was permanently disfigured at the hockey game but they did give me this free ice cold beverage."
2. "The can was too small the other way. I'll see if it fits in my lip hole sideways."
3. After pouring an entire Coke on his shirt through the giant hole in his lip, Tikloc decided that, yes, he would like a straw after all.
4. Malto liked to drink half of his Coke and then save the rest for later in his special pouch.
13 comments:
Before cooking defeated members of the rival Pepsicoan tribe, Cokacolazecs take swigs of their magical ceremonial elixir.
In a blind taste test, 4 out of 5 facially mutilated tribesmen prefer the taste of Coke over Pepsi.
"Aaahh...bibbis Coke ibba rebbafreshebbing"
re: your comment
No you dont. you like the torture.
"You put the coke in the disk and you mix it all together!"
B.S. This picture makes me hurt! Badly! Ugh! Shudder!
Ndugu realized almost immediately that nailing a Coke can to his upper lip was finally taking it a step too far.
Put another Coke can in the jukebox....
Click chuk nuk phak muk nuk clik.
Translation: You know, this would make for a really nice marinade. Human flesh would just fall off the bone.
"The Office of Cultural Anachronisms is now open for business. I am Chief Teohotihuacan. How may I be of assistance?"
Moog - We're guessing Joan Rivers was the fifth one who chose Pepsi.
AmyOops - How do you know me so well?
Quirky - Me too but there are much worse places people put stuff like that. Much worse.
Shawn - So true. Attaching soft drink containers to one's face often is a cry for help.
Expat - I ruin more jukeboxes that way!
Unicorn - You have no idea. I make a tibia roast that would make you weep.
Jenn - Dammit, I wanted to be the one to work "anachronisms" into my blog. Beat to the punch again!
Nothing eases the pain of overly stretched, cracking lips like high priced liquid with a pH of less than 2.
Ha! I knew it. You were just paying lip service to Pepsi.
Kelsey's new goth friends admired her efforts to join their group, but privately complained about her continued use of the tanning booth.
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