Philip's list:
1. Residents of Gloucester come out every year to celebrate the lesser-known “Hump Like a Schnauzer” festival.
2. Beginning what would turn out to be the worst day of his life, Shawn mistakes this police action for a conga line.
3. Mabel suddenly realized what a mistake it was to buy that new tiger pheromone perfume.
4. They could pull on her all they wanted, but nobody was going to stop Gwen from meeting the Jonas Brothers.
5. It was at that moment that Charlotte realized she was covering up the letters “The” on her “Therapists of the world unite!” banner.
Douglas's list:
1. The officers were barely able to contain Barbara Bush before she removed her top again.
2. The Senior Olympics got off to a shaky start as Ellen Obramowitz proudly carried her country's flag into the confused crowd.
3. "What do we want? Viagra to be covered by Medicare! When do we want it? Now!"
4. Sadly, this was the only way Gladys could get a man to grope her any more.
5. Sure, he'd been a little hasty answering the Craigslist ad. But as long as he was here, Cleve decided to make the most of it.
Now, as has become our habit, here is the "The Doggie Bag" of items that didn't quite make the cut, but managed to obtain immunity by standing on a pole in the middle of a alligator farm longer than the others. Enjoy!
1. When a cop tells you, “Stop marching or I’m going to violate you from behind,” that would really be a good time to stop marching.
2. “In my defense, M’lord, I really thought they were filming a ‘Benny Hill’ episode.”
3. OK, if I could just get everyone to squat and then line up in order of height please...
4. The marathon came to a bitter end for Officer Boodleburke when he got sandwiched between two combative contestants.
10 comments:
OMG!!!!...I'm just too busy laughing... I'll post a "real" comment later....promise....LMAO..
you guys are the BEST at captioning I sware but I'll give it a shot..
"The rules for the 'come on ride this train' weren't fully explained, so the cop got all choo choo on her ass."
Jimmy soon regretted his decision to yell 'dibs on the middle.'
Once someone began piping out Buster Poindexter's 'Hot Hot Hot' song, the whole protest went to Hell fast.
Winky - OK, go towel off and we'll be here when you compose yourself.
Chica - Hilarious! And I'm going to add "going choo choo on your ass" to my list of euphemisms but I'm not sure exactly what it will mean yet.
Moog - Well Philip, we're going to have stop mailing it in now. A pro is in our midst. Welcome to the party Moog.
Yeah what Chica said!
"Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad, Im hot for teacher." They sang as another hot teacher runs for her life.
Officer narrowly avoids a sexual harassment charge due to woman's breasts being located a foot to the south of where he grabbed her.
NEVER ask a Bobby why they don't carry guns 'cause he'll show you just how useful his baton can be.
Choking on a chunk of turkey leg at the street fair, Hilda was saved by two of London's finest who administered the rarely seen double Heimlich Maneuver.
Quirky - I'm going to have to ask you to call me Professor Dyer from now on.
FTU - You're right, I thought that was a glimpse of side boob just below her belt line!
MDL - I'm pretty sure in this context, you're going to want to put "baton" in quotes.
Haley - How did we miss the heiney-lick maneuver? You shame us so good.
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