
Philip's list:
1. Judge in Nevada keeps ending every statement he makes with the words “in bed,” followed by incessant giggling: “Objection sustained… in bed!”
2. At the beginning of the month, a judge declared a murder suspect not guilty, then shouted “April fools!”
3. Nevada judge decides sentencing by letting defendants spin the “Wheel of Punishment.”
4. Mississippi judge kept referring to the defense attorney as “college boy,” while spitting loudly into a brass spittoon.
5. California judge gave a convicted murderer a 20-sided die and said, “The court hereby sentences you to die by lethal injection, unless you make your saving throw.”

Douglas's list:
1. Judge constantly brought proceedings to a halt by refusing to change his cell phone's ringtone from "banging gavel."
2. Secretly replaced defendant's brewed coffee with Folger's instant crystals.
3. Instead of yelling "All rise!", judge makes bailiff yell, "Simon says, 'All rise!'"
4. Judge pronounced defendant guilty. Guilty of love in the first degree.
5. Instructed jury that they could find the defendant guilty, not guilty, or not guilty by reason of that hairy-ass mole on his face.








6 comments:
lol! I particularly enjoyed the banging gavel ringtone. That would indeed cause problems.
Too funny. You guys have the greatest imagination to come up with that stuff daily.
Guilty of love in the first degree. So good.
Shawn - Stop it! We're blushing! Well, I'm blushing. Philip is just suffering with constipation.
Dizz - Imagination is a cruel mistress. We spent most of our childhood convinced we were triplets.
Walter - So true. Nothing is better than love in the first degree. Except maybe the Arby's jamocha shake. Don't make me choose!
I think that Wheel o' Punishment is a great idea. Put one thin slice (like the million dollar space on Wheel of Fortune) that reads "Presidential Pardon". The rest of the wheel could contain things like "Death by Rats", "Deep Frying" or "Three Years Living with Richard Simmons". Okay, I take that last one back. Cruel and unusual punishment.
Yes, Chris, I would prefer death by rats over living with Richard Simmons any day.
And how does Douglas always know when I'm constipated? Must be a twin thing.
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