Philip's list:
1. Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke no longer testifying before Congress wearing only a barrel and suspenders.
2. Banks announce plans to resume shoveling money at middle-aged white men by the end of the month.
3. Recent photos reveal that Britney Spears is finally able to afford underwear.
4. My local bank branch manager no longer screams "Lordy, Lordy!" while doing a prospector dance each time I deposit my paycheck.
5. Grocery stores stop offering layaway option for dairy purchases.
Douglas's list:
1. Donald Trump begins re-hiring people he fired in The Apprentice.
2. Warren Buffet has quit using anything under a 20 to light his Cubans.
3. Wall Street cancels "Buy one stock get one free" marketing campaign.
4. Citibank no longer featuring "Topless Tellers Tuesday".
5. Crack whores no longer accepting personal checks.
4 comments:
Brilliant funny, And sadly oh so true!
Where'd you get that picture of me and my buddies eating at the diner?
You guys are great! Keep 'em coming.
Dizzblnd - No one's ever accused us of being truthful before. Feels a little weird.
Gaines - I knew that was your butt! Philip, you owe me $5!
Dammit! If I weren't so truthful, I would say that I'm the one who picked Gaines.
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