Philip's List:
1. Tell suspect that you just need one more good tip to keep your job, while showing him pictures of your children.
2. Force suspect to watch High School Musical 3 on a 24-hour loop; stop when ears begin to bleed.
3. Show suspects alternate translation of the Koran that says they will actually be greeted in heaven by 72 armadillos.
4. Abandon suspect in a Texas Wal-Mart wearing a “Bush sucks” t-shirt; let nature take its course.
5. Pump room full of marijuana smoke then promise suspect that you’ll totally share your Funyuns with him if he’ll tell you where Bin Laden is.
Douglas's List:
1. Suspect held in small room with Madonna’s eyebrows.
2. Due to a typo in a memo, one interrogator mistakenly took a suspect “boogie” boarding.
3. One suspect forced to watch entire hour of “700 Club.”
4. Some suspects forced to swim less than half an hour after eating.
5. An interrogator repeatedly touched suspect’s nose after rubbing feet on shag carpeting.
10 comments:
Those are great! I especially like the one about the Bush tshirt in texas wal mart
1) Suspect forced to list all proof that Liberace was straight.
2) Suspect forced to take all of my kids, or even just one, to Chucky Cheese.
3) Suspect forced to wear "Obama Sucks" t-shirt in East LA, or Beverly Hills.
4) Suspect forced to order Coca-Cola, and ask "may I have ketchup with that" in restaurant in France.
5) Suspect forced to wrestle syringe of Botox away from Nancy Pelosi.
Thanks, DB! And nice list, Thomas. Keep 'em coming!:-)
Philip
700 Club?!?!
[shudder]
Dude, you just scared me straight.
:^) Anna
1) Be forced to compete in Hell's Kitchen reality show.
2) Sit through the movie "Gerry" after being hopped up on caffeine and sugar.
3) Be forced to sing in front of Simon Cowell and subsequently critiqued.
4) Eat leftover French Fries that my kids have managed to stuff in the cracks of the back seat of the car.
5) The final blow: celery
Madonnas eyebrows are probably the only part of her that isn't crawling with STD.
Anna - Tough love, dearest. Always remember that the consequences of your action could lead straight to Pat Robertson.
Wendy - While amusing, your response seems to indicate a fear of obnoxious British TV personalities. That's a very specific intervention but I think you can be helped.
Mike - NEVER assume. Roaches and Madonna's eyebrows will remain after nuclear annihilation for a reason.
Okay now Philip, what do I have to do to get #5 done to me? I would tell you anything you wanted to know, after say an hour of inhalation.
LMAO! I'm still laughing about the funyons!
Unfortunately, if you want to have #5 done to you, Etta, you either have to threaten a government official or buy a copy of "Fahrenheit 911" on a credit card. Your choice.
Glad to have another Funyuns fan out there, Kristen! I used to eat those like they were going out of style, which apparently they were.
Post a Comment