Season five of Lost starts tonight. Just typing that caused my right nipple to shoot across the room and ricochet into my coffee cup. The left one looks concerned and maybe just a little jealous. But oddly enough, we aren’t here to talk about my nipples. Lost starts tonight so…dammit there goes the other one! Aw crap, I think I just rolled over it with my chair. There is no way that can be re-attached now.
If you’re like me you have already threatened your entire family with bodily harm if they utter so much as a cry for a fire extinguisher outside of a commercial break. If my son wants to hang from the ceiling fan without admonishment, tonight is the night. My wife could cheat on me with the entire New Orleans Saints offensive line so long as it’s on the side of the couch I can’t see when I’m watching TV. My daughter could lay waste to the liquor cabinet then ask to go joyriding and I’d toss her the keys with a reproving, “Shush!”
OK, I think I’ve made my point. Oh, and if you’re an elderly relative, please don’t exert yourself or do anything that might frighten you into a heart attack prior to 10:00 central. I’m asking nicely.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
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