Back in Black - by Douglas

Let’s set the comedy aside for a minute to congratulate Barack Obama on becoming America’s first black President. I frankly never knew that having a black president would make me feel so damn smug. But I do. I mean, has England had their first black Prime Minister yet? What about France or Russia? I really don’t feel like looking it up but I bet they haven’t. And let me tell you, smugness is just what this country has been missing for a while. Our dollar is worth half a cold crap. Our outgoing president is in more punchlines than George Michael and Oprah combined. And in far more languages. And our stock market is making us less rich by the minute. I was starting to feel pretty damn near average, global-wise.

But President Obama is going to change that all with his pigmentation. And just in the nick of time too. I have friends from other countries and it’s been nearly impossible to make fun of them lately. I no longer wax comedic about how the French love to get drunk on red wine and date rape cheese. Or about how Russians will plunge an icepick into your temple at the mere mention of Anastasia or Rasputin. Well, let the good times roll again – we are back on top!