25 Things I Hate About Me - by Philip

Okay, I don't actually hate these things about myself, I just wanted to capitalize on the popularity of the movie that has a somewhat similar name. Wait, I'm just being told that this movie wasn't actually very popular at all. It was, in fact, a box office disappointment. Well, this was a big waste of an opening paragraph.

Back to business. The list below is the result of my Facebook friends bombarding me with their "25 random things about me" lists. I decided to post the list on this blog as a result of the following logic: This blog contains things that I have written. I wrote this list. Therefore, this list must be on my blog. That makes sense, right? Could someone mock up a Venn diagram to show how this works? Anyway, here it is, dammit.

1. Until 2 weeks before I was born, my name was supposed to be Lisa and Douglas was going to be Laurie. Or maybe vice-versa. Obviously, that didn’t work out.
2. I majored in Soviet Studies but haven’t once used that degree for anything. Well, I did once ask a young Russian boy how old he was, but he answered me in English.
3. I bought my first computer in 1981 at age 13. It was a TRS-80 with 4k of ROM. Not RAM… ROM.
4. I don’t believe in wacky twin stuff, but every once in awhile something weird happens between my brother and me.
5. My favorite song of all time is “What I Got” by Sublime.
6. When I was 11 years old, I roomed with Harry Connick Jr. at summer camp.
7. I hate the taste of kiwi. (The fruit, not the people from New Zealand. But them too, probably.)
8. I can almost never tell when a man is good-looking, which I consider a major personality flaw. Hugh Jackman? Really?
9. I believe that, by definition, nothing supernatural ever occurs.
10. My mind automatically rearranges words and sentences, which helps me totally kick ass at Word Jumbles.
11. I think that horoscopes are ludicrous, but I still read mine anyway. It’s right beneath the Word Jumble in my paper.
12. I have a fondness for symmetry.
13. I almost got kicked out of a Mendocino bed and breakfast once because Ted Danson made a reservation that night for President Clinton. The Clintons didn’t show, so I got to stay in the room above Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen, who has the sexiest voice in Hollywood.
14. I apparently enjoy name-dropping.
15. I have studied, French, Spanish, Latin, Russian and Japanese, but my best foreign language by far is Japanese, which I speak at a 6-year-old’s level.
16. I’m the only liberal in my family and have therefore never minded being the only person in the room who is right. Or left, as the case may be.
17. Based on #16, it would also appear that I’m a bit of a snob.
18. I value honesty above all other characteristics, but recognize the value of bending the truth a bit for etiquette’s sake.
19. I can usually tell within just a few seconds of meeting someone if I’m going to like him, but I still keep an open mind for a little while.
20. I place such a high value on fresh breath that I carry gum with me everywhere. I feel naked without it. I also feel naked without clothes, but who doesn’t?
21. My favorite spice is tarragon.
22. I can’t stand that clicking, smacking noise that a dry mouth makes, so when someone on NPR is making this noise, I change the station immediately.
23. I won a baking contest at age 19, but I’m probably the worst cook in my family.
24. I watch way too many forensics shows.
25. My pinky tips are crooked. It’s congenital. (You're welcome, Jessica!)